| Never feeling like you belong can be one of the hardest experiences to go through when you’ve got chronic fatigue syndrome. It’s pretty tough to deal with when you’re already dealing with a list of symptoms that make you experience pain and suffering 24/7. I remember when I was going through chronic fatigue syndrome, particularly in the early stages of recovery when I first got diagnosed. There was about 6 months where I felt like my world completely stopped and then crumbled. Friends stopped being friends, activities and events turned to cancellations, and the pain and sorrow I had in my heart and my head from missing out and watching life go by was so immense. It was to the point where there were moments where I didn’t actually want to be on planet Earth anymore. I actually covered this on my personal story. If you haven’t listened to it, you can listen to it here. (If you’re further along your recovery journey and on track, keep reading I have something for you at the end, that will be helpful for you). There’s this feeling of deep hopelessness and a depression that I couldn’t really understand at the time, but looking back, it made total sense. On one hand, I was losing and letting go of the life I had, and on the other hand, I had no one that I felt close to in the current moment of pain and suffering that could relieve that pain or suffering. It felt like the dark night of the soul. And this is the moment where I felt like life was unfair. I remember journaling every night, writing in my journal: “This is so unfair. Why me? Why me? Why me? Why did I have to go through this? Why couldn’t someone meaner in the world go through something like this?” And that went on for quite a while. You might have heard this quote: “Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.” And that’s what happened to me, I just got to the point where I could no longer bare another day the way my life was going, and so I decided to make a change. Initially, that change started small, but ironically, it was actually about letting go of the old and being grateful for where I was at. That sounds absurd, considering I was in bed 16 to 18 hours a day, barely being able to do anything at all. My whole day was just consumed by suffering and symptoms. The day that I started becoming grateful for the small things (like having limbs that were still functional, even though I could barely use them, and being able to still smile), and being grateful for my dog Scruffy (who doesn’t love a dog?) and all the little things that were actually big things for me at that time (because I didn’t have much going on in my life), really helped me focus in on what was good, even though it was such a small list to start with. What started to happen as I started to focus on that and I started to focus on my recovery is that that list grew bigger. I started to be able to write more things down that I was grateful for, and eventually, real tangible things started to happen, like: – Muscle tone started to come back. – My symptoms started to decrease. – Pain and muscle aches started to go away. – Brain fog got less. – My nutrition and digestion started to become better. – I started to be able to socialise in small doses to start with. – My capacity started to grow All this stuff started to build up over time. And, of course, over the following year, I started to get better and better and better and better and better, to the point where I was able to go into full-time study, which was health and fitness. I was able to get a full-time job. I was able to run again. I was able to do life again with no constraints, and it was because I started with where I was at. That initial point of change was acceptance of where I was at, which is one of the hardest things to actually do. Once that moment happened, real recovery started to take place. And that’s where we help our clients every single week: getting to this point and place of acceptance so they can really fully focus on their recovery right now. As I always say, it’s not about accepting your illness. It’s just about accepting where you’re at so you can move forwards and start getting better. As we always say, acceptance isn’t resignation. It’s the starting point of recovery. And for those of you who are further along your recovery journey, acceptance isn’t just for the start of the journey. It’s actually throughout. Every time you make new progress, rather than continue to try and progress all the time (which is going to set you up for failure and make you fall backwards), what you want to do is actually accept your new current level of baseline and maintain it for at least 2 to 4 weeks. That’s the trick. The people who are maintaining for a minimum of 2 to 4 weeks, sometimes even longer, depending on life circumstances, are going to progress much faster than those who don’t accept their new level and solidify before they progress. A little tip there, if you’re further along your recovery journey, is to not get carried away with energy, excitement, or capacity excitement. Maintain the new level for at least 2 to 4 weeks, provided your health is maintaining, and then progress again. This is a really key piece to recovery that many are missing through stage 2 and stage 3 of recovery. Anyway I’d love to know what was most helpful from this email: the acceptance piece or the acceptance piece to progress further in 2 to 4 weeks or was it something else? Hit reply and let me know. Best,Toby MorrisonFounder, CFS Health P.S. If you haven’t got a copy of my latest book, “Get Your Life Back – a step-by-step recovery guide from chronic fatigue syndrome” you can get a copy here. I cover everything you need to know about recovery from all three stages of recovery, all the way into integrating back into life, and so much more I cover everything you need to know about recovery from all three stages of recovery, all the way into integrating back into life, and so much more. get your copy here |
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